Hello

Being born to addict parents who were deeply neglectful and abusive shaped the entire experience of my childhood through teen years. I was blessed with an amazing set of great-grandparents who were able to offer some relief early in life, and then a superhero of a foster mom who assisted me in the later years.

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My early trauma and insecure attachment has had sweeping effects on my adult life, from disabling me during college to undermining nearly every personal relationship I attempted to form. The list of impacts are as long as my arm, culminating in a suicide attempt and hospitalization in my early 20s. 

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Having been on the edge of death, with nothing to stop me but me, I made a promise to myself, my inner child, and my daughter that I would do everything in my power to never put myself there again. That started a journey that continues to this day.

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In the last decade, I have dedicated my life to climbing the spiral of recovery and evolution.

 

At first the journey was about getting my mental health under control. Which I did through the use of therapy, therapeutic learning, and medication. But as soon as my mental health was mostly under control, my spiritual health became my next task - including the exploration and healing of my childhood trauma.

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The biggest step I took was to quit a fantastic office job that kept me separated from my family and child for 13+ hours a day. We sold everything we owned and moved into an intentional community in the Pacific Northwest. I had no way of knowing just how pivotal that move would be...

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I spent the next 4+ years living with 30-60 other people, stewarding an 87 acre piece of shared land and working to educate the world on personal and ecological sustainability. We worked and lived together using Sociocracy, a form of governance based in consent. I learned to breath, communicate, move my body, facilitate, mediate, open myself to others, and a million other little things that helped me slowly start to peel back the layers of trauma.

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During my time in community (but not on the land) I participated in a sacred medicine ceremony, overseen by a trained facilitator. This medicine returned my psyche, for a brief time, to it's natural state - completely outside the trauma. I was able to see my body and soul in their purest form which, while fleeting, has been a North Star - an inextinguishable light guiding me home to myself. 

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Just before COVID hit the world, sensing that I was hitting some blocks to my growth, I decided to leave my little intentional community. I spent time with beloved friends, and even made a 5000 mile journey to Derby, England to meet the love of my life.

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Upon returning to the US, I decided to take the opportunity of having "no roots" to tackle one of my biggest fears: homelessness. I spent several months living out of my best friend's van, actively working to heal the housing insecurity that plagued my childhood. The goal through this was to heal the wound, but I also made it a priority to save and search for a tiny house to renovate and make my home.

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I am writing this from the cozy warmth of my tiny house. While I'm not quite settled where I'd like to be, I am afforded the daily experience of living directly in nature. Being a home-owner presents it's own hazards and challenges, which deliver even more opportunities for growth. And I am blessed enough to have secured a sponsorship that covers my basic daily needs (the majority of the time). 

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My soulmate became my fiancee in the winter of 2021, when she visited from the UK. We are traveling as safely as possible back and forth, until we can get financially stable enough to get married (the only way for her to be here permanently). She is not only my biggest support but also the strongest and healthiest person I know. 

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I co-parent as the "auxiliary" parent for my 11 year old daughter, living with her father. Mothering her, even from a distance, is one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. And another opportunity to face and deprogram the feelings of shame and not-enoughness still living inside me. 

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My driving force in life is working as a Trauma Doula. The joy and fulfillment I experience entering those sacred spaces with my clients and communities is completely indescribable. There is a deep and tragic beauty to holding someone's hand as they face their deepest fears and pains. I often walk away from client sessions and content creation with a sense of awe and honor. 

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If you got this far, Thank You. It is so powerful to me to get to share my story here with you. If you found yourself resonating with me as a doula and coach, take a look at my services page to learn more about what I offer and how we might work together! 

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 "The Divine in Me sees and honors the Divine in You."

- Jera Johnston